I need help.

Right now I'm feeling kind of down, having a crisis of conscience because of the various occult-originating themes present in Pokemon games (ghosts, hypnosis, yoga, psychic powers, fortelling the future, "gods," etc.) and trying to discern whether it all being fantasy anyway is enough of a safeguard from the feeling like I as a Christian am endangering souls by playing it...

It just feels like it's too much occultism layered in cute.

It's been bothering me for over a year now. Possibly several years. The thing is, I feel like there are two influences speaking to me, God and the devil, and I can't tell which one is which. I know that God doesn't sound like the devil, and that the devil will try to sound like God, so that gives me a hint.

I feel like the devil is levying accusations at me, trying to blur the lines between fantasy and reality.

I know there are some occultic themes in Pokemon. Not in ALL of Pokemon, but in a large enough portion of it, particularly the psychic and ghost types. But I also know that Pokemon has never been a one-on-one representation of reality, and includes things that have never been real to begin with and never will be, so it makes me wonder how much stock people really put into it. I also have Christian friends who play Pokemon and take part in my Pokemon RP with a clean conscience, so there's that.

But I'm worrying that playing Pokemon may be negatively affecting my discernment.

My family has a history of schizophrenia, and a close relative was just hospitalized for it. So I'm worrying that I may be losing my mind over the Pokemon issue, over trying to convince myself that there aren't demons following me around over it, or perhaps it's the demons that are trying to convince me. But in the meantime, I'm still going crazy here, with worry, guilt, and concern.

Right now, I'm praying God gives me a miracle, clarity of mind, and lets me see how things REALLY are here. I've made such wonderful friends in the Pokemon community, and some of them are Christians as well. I've wondered about that -- how some Christians seem to take fantasy better than others. C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, for instance, studied mythology and used aspects of it in their famous books. My parents taught us kids ancient mythology as well, even while they told us not to play Pokemon.

I also have a group of RPers on my own subreddit who RP Twitch Plays Pokemon storylines with me, and some of them are Christians.

So it makes me uneasy trying to figure out this whole "occultism in Pokemon" stuff, because hey I know Pokemon isn't real anyway, but isn't it kind of desensitizing to kids to hand them an imaginary pet monster that delights in casting curses on people?

Actually, it seems like Pokemon is a metaphor for my life right now -- it's a beautiful world, but it's full of so much danger ready to jump out at me from the tall grass, and some of that danger looks deceptively huggable.

Please pray for me.